Ben+Fuller's+Page

//I am a junior at the University of Colorado at Boulder. My major is History with the hope of going into education. My fiancé, Kim, and I are planning on getting married of July 2010.//

**I Believe in the Power of Listening By Benjamin Fuller** media type="file" key="Fuller-TIB.mp3" align="center" width="240" height="20"

 From time to time someone g ives me good advice, and I’m in just the right place to absorb it. Some of the best advice I ever received was that we all have two ears and one mouth. As such, we ought to use them proportionately. I heard this advice; unfortunately I never got around to listening to it. That is, until I got engaged.

My fiancé recently went back to school to finish her bachelor’s degree. Her first day of class was accompanied with the usual stress that students feel at the beginning of a new semester. I could see the anxiety in her face as she came up and embraced me. I asked her how her day had gone, knowing full well what the answer would be. She didn’t say a thing. Before she could even get to the couch to rest her weary self, I began to rattle on and on about how I knew how she felt.

“School is rough… you’ll make it… it’ll get easier… ”

“You’re not listening to me!”

The atmosphere in the room had suddenly changed. Her attitude changed from anxiety to frustration.

I turned to her and asked her what the matter was.

“You’re not listening to me,” she cried. “This is my time to talk. This is my story.”

As I looked into her eyes I was overcome with a terrible feeling regret. I realized that I was refusing to listen to her. Because I was not giving any value to what she had to say, I unconsciously gave little worth to her.

I sat down on the faded blue sofa, looked my sweetheart in her deep brown eyes, and shut up. It was probably the most important thing I learned to do. Neither of us spoke. It did not result in a moment of awkward silence. Rather, tranquility distilled upon the room like fresh morning dew. Stillness replaced anxiety as I attempted to understand her situation. My overweight beagle and slender sheltie seemed to pick up on the change in environment, for they too stopped chasing the cats, and gathered around her. They bent their heads, stared into her eyes, and perked up their ears like children ready to listen to a soothing bedtime story. My fiancé began to fidget with her hands. She moved her gaze from me, to the dogs, and then to the floor. I could see tears welding up behind her plum colored glasses. She leaned over and embraced me. Her actions told me more and more about her day the longer I held onto her. There is a lot to listen to in the first few moments of silence.

Before she said anything, I could guess what the first words out of her mouth were going to be. “Today sucked.”

She went on to talk for a long time, and I went on to listen. It turned into one of the most memorable and heartfelt conversations that we ever had. I believe in the power of listening.

I have two ears and just one mouth. Now I’ve learned to use them proportionately.